Windowshoppers’s Weblog

Pusuit of Success

Get Some Alone Time April 23, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — windowshoppers @ 10:21 pm
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I have friends around me who have been single for awhile now. They always go into self depreciation saying how unattractive they are which they perceive is the reason for their single-hood.

I have been consecutively in two long term relationships for the past 6 years. People always think that it is a big part of their life accomplished by being attached. For me, while being attached, sometimes I also date myself. Yes, you heard that right!

So much of our life outside work was filled with things that most of us do not enjoy doing. Surely, that needs to be changed. We are so often occupied pleasing everyone else without knowing what really made ourself happy.

There are more than one way to enjoy single-hood:

1. Put on a dress, apply some makeup and escort yourself to a movie which you have always longed to watch but cannot find anyone to go with all this while.

2. Take yourself to the beach with a good read and some good light snacks, do not forget the music.

3. Book yourself an appointment at the spa to keep your body in a relaxed state.

4. Retail therapy is a girl’s most effective mood-uplifter. If you are on a tight purse string, window shopping is just as therapeutic!

5. Do you realize that sometimes you do not even know yourself well enough?  Now, take sometime off after a long day’s work. Sit down with some soothing music in the background and evaluate on your life.

“Who do you want to be?”

“What do you really want to do?”

“What are your future plans?”

6. In order to find a more suitable partner in future, you should also sit back and evaluate on your past relationships so that you do not keep hitting your head in the same brick wall each time when you are in a relationship.

Ask yourself questions:

“What were the problems you faced in the previous relationship?”
“Why made me commit to the previous relationship?”

You do not want to change yourself too much to suit someone who very different from you in a relationship. Many women in their late 30s and 40s have decided that although they long for someone to come home to, but they will not settling for just anyone. Many single women these days also have a mindset that “life is great in this modern world with equal rights, great jobs and vast opportunities. We no longer need man to protect us or make an impact on our life. Staying with someone for the sake of it is just a waste of time!”

Dating yourself could teach you many things – What you really enjoy doing, who your true good friends are, what is most important to me. This period of single-hood allows you to travel well and deep as well as focus on building your career.

Bear in mind, you are not going to find the best person for yourself if you are not being who you really are.

After getting to know yourself better, you will definitely find that person whom you just know you will spend the rest of your life with. Then, you will save some time on relationships which will not bear fruits and stick to the right path all your life!

“A real relationship, whether it is with a friend or a lover, is about finding someone who brings out the best in you, enjoys the best in you and loves the things you love.”

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21 Suggestions for Success April 13, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — windowshoppers @ 10:53 pm
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1. Marry the Right Person. This one decision determines 90% of your happiness or misery.

2.  Work at something which you enjoy and that is worthy of your time and talent.

3. Give people more than they expect of you and do it cheerfully.

4. Choose to be the more positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.

6. Be Generous.

7. Have a Grateful Heart.

8. Persistence, Persistence, Persistence in whatever you do.

9. Discipline yourself to save more money even on a modest salary to eliminate stress from future unforeseen circumstances.

10. Treat everyone you meet like how you want to be treated.

11. Commit yourself to constant self improvement.

12. Commit yourself to quality way of life.

13. Understand that happiness is not built on possessions, power, prestige but on relationships with people you love and respect.

14. Be loyal

15. be Honest

16. Be a Self- Starter

17. Be decisive even if it means that you are wrong.

18. Stop Blaming others, be responsible of every aspect of your life.

19. Be bold and courages. Otherwise, you will regret on the things you did not do more than what you did when you reflect back on your life.

20. Take good care of those you love every day with sincerity.

21. Do not do anything that will not make your mom proud.

Cheers,

Sharon

 

Personal Goal Setting

Filed under: Uncategorized — windowshoppers @ 10:39 pm
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The new week is ahead of us, it will be good if all of us could put down personal goals which we wish to achieve within the week in order to keep us on the right track to achieving our long term goals in life.

All, or most of us have personal goals. We have some short term goals such as those we want to achieve within a month or even a week. Controversially, we also have long term ones which leads us to achievements of a lifetime such as a successful career.

Setting goals helps us to generate plans for our future. Allows us to choose our directions in life and identify distractions and get them out of our way.  They also gives us motivation and builds our self confidence as we realize how we can reach our goals faster.

Here is a general guideline in Setting your Personal Goals:

Step 1: Take an overview of your life which allows you to look at the bigger picture of what you want to do with your life. Decide on the larger scale goals which you want to achieve to make your life more fulfilling.

Step 2: Break these jargons into smaller pieces like jigsaw puzzle separated into its smaller pieces. Making sure these smaller goals will progressively lead you to your ultimate goals of life.

Step 3: In order to allow your life to be a more all-rounded one, perhaps you can categorize your goals into some of these:

* Artistic

*Attitude

*Career

*Education

*Financial

*Family

*Physical

*Pleasure

*Public Service

Step 4: Set a realistic time frame of even up to 25 years whichever is comfortable for you. Do note that by cramping your many long term goals within too short a time frame might cause you to lose motivation when you fall short of your expectations.

Attempt to create daily To-Do List which sees you through completion of your daily task and by doing a daily reflection according to your To-Do List will allow you to learn from mistakes and gain satisfaction in what you have completed in the day.

C’mon and take on these baby steps which will go a long way with you.

 

Surviving a Financial Crisis April 12, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — windowshoppers @ 12:18 am
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Decisions and changes made in life will most definitely have an impact on your financial status.
The following are some scenarios which might pose a drastic change in your finances and here are some ways to tackle them.

Scenario 1: Divorce
In the recent years, divorce rates in Singapore are constantly on the rise. Statistics have shown that in 68.6% of the cases, the wife is the petitioner.
Studies have shown that the women tend to be more financially unstable after a divorce.

Women always ask if they could get Maintenance?

Under the Women’s charter, the ex-husband have to maintain the role of catering to the needs of his ex-wife and children after a divorce. Often, this is on a monthly basis until his ex-wife remarries or he pass away. The amount could also be paid in one full sum.  Some factors such as the ex-husband’s income, the ex-wife needs and her standards of living will be taken into consideration before any decision is made as to what is the final sum of maintenance fee the ex-wife is entitled to.

How will assets be divided between us?

Assets namely, matrimonial home, bank accounts, CPF monies accumulated during marriage, club memberships, vehicles, share options and retirement monies are a few among others.
If the assets are acquired by both during time of marriage, the assets will be divided equitably between the two parties. But if the wife did not acquire any of the assets the husband did during the time of marriage, she is also entitled to an equitable share.
Above these, a portion of the husband’s income will go to the ex-wife unless she is drawing a higher pay cheque. In such case, the ex-wife will only receive a nominal amount of maintenance fee.

What if the husband does not comply to his maintenance payments?
If the husband does not keep up with his payments, the ex-wife can bring this issue up to the family court. The court can order his employer to deduct a percentage from his salary to be deposited into the ex-wife’s account monthly. This is not automatic, it is only by request from the ex-wife.

Scenario 2: A Poor Investment (Property)

Property prices have been on the rise, however, compared to prices of those who bought their homes in 1997, it may still not be as high as what they paid back then.

Always do your assessment
As a buyer, we must always weigh out the objectives of our purchase. As in purchasing a property, a large capital sum is involved with a high transaction cost.

The Mortgage
If you have difficulty managing your mortgage, visit financial advisors at the bank and negotiate with them for solutions. Some may allow you to pay the interest portion of the loan for a short period of time. They may also lengthen the loan period to reduce monthly installment amount and even allowing you to include a secondary loan applicant to help service the initial loan.

Scenario 3: Temporary Loss of Income
For instance, sudden disability which are never expected may land you into the scenario of a temporary loss of income.

Cast your Security Net
Losing your income and hence unable to maintain your lifestyle could be devastating. But you can insure against risk such as illnesses and disabilities due to accidents. An income protection plan will allow you and your family to be able to carry on your daily lifestyle without worrying about having a regular source of income.

Get advice from Experts

Insurance plans may work for some not all. You may consult a professional financial planner or advisor who can draw up a substantial financial plan allowing you to set aside a sum of savings for unpredictable rainy days.
They can also help you determine essential expenses, compulsive or incidental expenditures and maximize your available resources.

To Get Started:

1. Assess your monthly expenditures and make plans to set aside a fixed amount as a cumulative emergency fund.

2. Borrowings should be reduced to the minimum to prevent your budget from being inflexible. Also, make it a point to pay off all unsecured credit expenses every month.

3. Should you have lost your job, be realistic and not turn to unsecured credit, stock speculations and gambling for a quick buck. You should prioritize your spending and live economically. Pay for the more vital things like mortgage, installments, utilities bills and groceries first.

4. Seek help by contacting your banks informing them you have lost your job. Request for a reduced payment for a limited time till you get employed again.

Hope you have found these information useful!

 

How to be Happy! April 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — windowshoppers @ 11:53 pm
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Pursuit of Happyness!

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Often, we find ourselves obsessed with achieving goals to bring us cheer and excitement – buying new cars, property, brand new outfit or scoring well for the exams.
We will then realize how short-lived this joy is. As soon as we have signed the cheque, we find ourself asking “What’s next?”
We need to find long term happiness, which many of us have perceived wrongly. Most of us feels that we are living in a community of materialism whereby we need to own a Hermes or Louis Vuitton in order to be of some social status.

Happiness cannot come from without, it has to come from within.” Hellen Keller

Kickstart the process by being totally honest with yourself and think about what truly aspire you most.

Here’s a step by step guide to help you realise what truly aspire you:

1. What makes you Unhappy?
Unhappiness may arise from internal or external sources. External sources refers to problems in one’s life such as a sick child or job retrenchment.
Consider the following unhappiness factors to see if they affect you:

Envy & Discontentment
Envy is the ulcer of the soul. If someone’s wealth and well-being makes you unhappy, then they control your well-being. Learn to celebrate the successes of others. It is natural to want to own better things, but if you always feel that the grass is on the greener side, you are always going to be dissatisfied with your life.

Playing the Blame Game
We may not be able to control circumstances, but we are always in control of our reactions to them. Instead of resorting to blame when things goes wrong, learn to take the responsibility of every failure and learn from it so that you can grow.

Perfectionism
Perfection is highly unattainable and seldom a necessity, so stop stressing Junior for not making it to the best. Learn to accept the imperfections in life as no one is perfect.

The Glass is half empty
To you, if the glass is always half empty, bear in mind that it is also half full. So identify your positive qualities and accomplishments and it is never too late to rectify the areas that are pulling you down rather than dwell on it too much.

Having No Purpose
Leading a meaningless life might make you doubt yourself and your existence. So love what you do. Do what you love. Inject meaning in your life by doing what your heart wants to.

2. Bust the Myths

Often, the things we seek to soothe our souls are the ones which feeds our fears and cause happiness to elude us. This is called being stuck in the “Happiness Trap”.

Being Rich Will Make Me Happier
Research has shown that once income exceeds the poverty level, having more money brings very little extra happiness. This is because we are wrong to assume that “things aren’t always making us happy, they are the wrong things!”

Money Doesn’t Matter
Some people believe too strongly in “Money can’t buy happiness”. But in reality, money still matter to a certain extent especially to put that food on the table or pay your electricity bills.

A Life of Leisure will Make me Happy
A life full of leisure will quickly lead to boredom. We need to work to be productive and to bring fulfillment into our lives. The key point is to find purpose in what you do and giving your best.

3. Make yourself Happy

Happiness is a state of the mind which can be affected by external factors. The degree of happiness can be greatly affected by many factors like friendships, roman relationships, finances and career. The quickest path to happiness is addressing your outlook in life and by changing circumstances wherever possible. Here are several points on how to learn to be happier:

Nurture important relationships
Make time for positive and encouraging relationships. Studies have shown that happy people tend to build stronger friendship and ties, so set some time aside to bond with people you care for.

Small nice Gestures
Kind acts be it big or small makes the person performing it happier. So what are you waiting for? Throw someone a compliment and give up your seat to the elderly now!

Stroke the Flame of Love
Keep relationship strong by showing how much you care. Instead of grumbling as to why the husband is staying out late again. Perhaps cook up a nice dinner, nag less, compliment him more.

Get in touch with your Spiritual side
Finding greater purpose than oneself and having a sense of belonging are some benefits of being part of a spiritual support group.

Watch Your dollars
Having three to six months of your salary set aside for rainy days and living within your means can provide you a peace of mind. Financial gurus advise that your total debts should not exceed 20 per cent of your drawing salary. Not only are you leading a debt-free life, yet also knowing that your basic needs are covered will definitely decrease your stress levels and make you happier.

Count your happiness
Look around you and find things which you have in your life rather than those which you don’t. Like a doting husband, supportive family, good friends and career. By counting your blessings reminds you of the security you enjoy and gives you a fresh perspective on life.

Pick yourself up and move on
Don’t blame yourself too much should you fall short of your expectations. Treat your failure with humour, maintain a smile and try again.

Hope you have gained a new sight of life from this.